How to deal when your dog is Afraid
Especially as a woman, I find myself more instinctually worrying when anything around me shows emotions and need comfort. That’s what we do as humans, comfort when fear, sadness and misunderstandings happen. We are taught carefully to empathize and sympathize with those around us and for lack of a better term- take their feelings upon ourselves. It’s human nature at it’s gentlest and we love to see and encourage it in raising our children and setting examples for those around us.
But, where do all these amazing human responses fit in with most of the animal kingdom? - Today, we will be focusing on the dog of it all. Is our empathy and sympathy as beautifully sought after and received by man’s best friend? Does it build relationships, trust, and understanding like it so often does with humans? Let’s talk about it.
Speak Their Language
Speaking, it is something we have studied for a long time in all aspects of the animal kingdom we can, we know that dolphins have their own dialects like us humans, apes communicate with sounds, miming- thus making it so simple for us to teach them ASL and communicate back and forth with them. However, this is only one instance we have been able to learn to communicate using a language used for humans. Sure, we’ve had dogs push buttons to say things, had rats press buttons- but is that how we would comfort them effectively to build relationship? How do they feel and build comfort for each other and make each other feel safe or not.
Energy is everything. Sure, dogs will bark but how their bodies move and the energy they carry into each situation is their key to main communication. In fact, most of the animal kingdom uses these two communication styles the most. As humans we see anything first visually and even when asked to describe a person they most often will describe the appearance, race, and features long before explaining if they are a nervous person, a laid-back person, or just brings happiness where they go- ESPECIALLY when first meeting anyone or anything.
Animals and dogs see anyone entering near them first, as what kind of energy are they bringing in and what species they are. It’s why Canadian Geese hate us so much and why they hiss, snap, or try to chase us off. They only see an anxious human approaching them and their family. They don’t have the understanding that the human is anxious because of the geese near them or because we are afraid of them or what they will do- they only see an anxious creature approaching their family. If you saw a really angry and upset person that does not speak your language approaching your family- you may be hissing and telling them to go look away too. Alternatively, if you stay calm- or if I were to place someone stoned out of their gourd in the middle of geese- they won’t respond the same.
This energy greeting and assessment from animals are the key to making any animal feel safe with each other or with you when something scary approaches or something new. Think of it this way- your voice means nothing- what is your energy telling your dog? Can they tell you are anxious or upset because you are sympathetic and empathetic to their feelings or do they just see the anxiety bubbling in you too and think it’s for the same reason they are upset?
Animals feel safe by surrounding themselves with those they can feel have their back, show them what is scary and what’s not. How? By leading by energy example. So, if your dog is afraid of a garbage can that looks really sketchy and mean to your dog- don’t get down and comfort them by petting and getting sad your dog is afraid- but instead lead by example. If it is not something to be scared of or something you want your dog to conquer- show your confidence around it by not even acknowledging it and rewarding your dog when they stop worrying about it.
As a pet owner, fur-mama, fur-dad or whatever you call yourself- you are in the position of leadership and the parent/guardian of this relationship. The safe parent in this relationship is the one who gives boundaries- shows what to be afraid of and what not to be afraid of. I am never going to ask you to put your dog past what they can handle- however anything needs to be able to see their fears to conquer them or learn they are safe with you- always.
In conclusion, save those cuddles for when they are happy and comfortable and not frantic. If your dog needs a safe place to go at home when scared, let them hide behind you- but talk to them calmly- don’t pet them excessively but help release tension and sensory overdrive by massaging if they don’t get more frantic by touch and reward and get moving with confident energy when they feel comfortable enough. If an animal knows who to rely on or what to do in most situations they enter- they will be a happier, more confident, and balanced dog! You know? Like all us complicated-brained humans wish to be.
Written by: Joy Stark